Sunday, February 22, 2004
kristins imood=top
sarahs imood=bottom
hmm & dont i feel mine?
i miss him. i want to see him. i want to talk to him. i want to cry. i want to write. i want to be able to hug him. i want to kiss him. i want him here. & i dont ever want him to leave.
why cant i just have what i want?
i want all of those things. now. & forever.
& i'd give up everything for them.
even acting. & i put acting in my 3 things for survival (food, clothes, acting)
i'd give it all up. if i could just have him.
& i wouldnt even think twice. i promise.
i'd get on my knees for an hour everyday & thank God that i had him.
i'd live in complete poverty. i'd do whatever he asked me to. without question.
i'd spill my heart out to him. i'd give up all the knowledge in my head.
i'd give up all my dreams. i'd give my own life.
if i could only have what i wanted.
if i'm so willing, why cant i?
i mean, i suppose i could have all those things.
but right now. and forever? hmmm.
not right now thats for sure.
i love him. no i mean I
really do
love him. & i hope he remembers that.
& i know it annoys people when i worry about it.
because "we're perfect right?"
but i tend to do what i'm best at.
eat & worry.
he makes me feel beautiful. no not beautiful...gorgeous.
like no one else would ever matter anymore.
& like he doesnt care how any other girl looks.
& like, in his eyes, beauty never failed me. ever.
i suppose i just dont know what i'd do without him.
probably sit around & sulk all the time.
that would suck alot.
i just wish we had more time together.
or that we had more time to do stuff together.
& by do stuff i mean even just sitting.
not even talking. just as long as we're sitting.
& i can hold his hand.
or even just sit beside him.
i think i'd cry out of joy.
is this what real love is?
i think it is.
wow. i've accomplished real, true love.
alright. i'm done writing. i think it only makes me want to cry more.
but crying doesnt solve anything. so i wont.
later daze.
~S~
Beauty. Failed. Us.
sarah ate some vegetables at
9:36 PM
