us
This blog is composed by sarah and kristin. We love to write, love to have fun, and ... are teenagers. That's about it.

things

well. i need an outlet that i almost trust.
i'm scared out of my mind.

and i cant believe i'm about to write this.



tonight i was at brandens house. now i've set limits for myself long ago, limits i swore up and down i would never let someone past.

and tonight, i had to say something.



and oh God, i was so scared. and when i told him,
no matter how many times he said it was okay,
i wanted to cry.

i found something that i just cant do.


i just thought all of a sudden:
what if my mom knew about this?
or what if the cheerleaders heard about this?
they'd have a field day.
what if someone more important knew?
God knows. God knows.

thats when i knew that it wasnt right.


and i didnt cry. but the tears sting now.

God. if it was anyone else, anyone...
this would be so much easier.

i hope he wasnt just saying that he understood.
and i wish i could have said something sooner.

and i wish i actually had someone to tell this to
rather than this old dinky computer.
but at this point, i just want to tell everyone,
because i feel like i'm lying to everyone i talk to.
but i dont want anyone to think of me that way,
like i didnt stay with my morals.
and i'm just so scared.

and i dont know why i'm crying.
its not like everythings over.
its not like he doesnt care about me.

its like i forced a ceiling on our relationship
and then we hit our heads
and this is all the pain that goes with it.



oh God. i dont know what i'm supposed to do....
wont you save me?


-sar.

Beauty. Failed. Me.